The graveyard shift
by mrsreynolds
Summary: No longer a one shot! Why is Neela dreading this shift, when Ray can't wait? Set during season 12.
1. Chapter 1

This is just a bit of Reela fluff . Rated K+ for language.

I don't own ER; if I did then I wouldn't have to be writing this stuff, it'd be happening in the show! (I'm from the UK so I may be behind on events!)

This is my first attempt at a fanfic so be gentle!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Graveyard Shift

Standing just outside curtain three, Neela grumbled to herself as she dispatched her latest patient. She hated the graveyard shift at the best of times: she loved the ER when it was busy, and the thought of those long periods of inactivity as the shift progressed in to the small hours of the morning filled her with dread. This particular shift was going to be even worse, as it would allow her far too much time to think. And thinking was something she'd done way too much of lately.

Ever since the last letter from Michael.

* * *

Ray whistled to himself contentedly as he caught up on his charts. Usually, the idea of an upcoming graveyard shift was enough to ruin his whole week, but he'd actually been looking forward to this one. All through the night he'd been scaring the nurses with his sunny disposition; at one point Sam had stopped him and put her palm to his head, checking for signs of a fever. 

"What's got into you?" she'd asked him, "got yourself a record deal?"

Ray had just smiled, his eyes fixed on curtain three.

* * *

Neela sighed for the fourth time in as many minutes. She stretched luxuriously, catlike, and them swore as the lumpy back of the lounge chair dug into her shoulders. 

"Bloody hell, Abby, you'd think this dump would splash out on a couple of new armchairs every few decades," she complained, twisting herself around to swipe at the offending piece of furniture.

Abby smiled lopsidedly and swept her dark fringe out of her eyes. "Jeez, Neela, you really ought to share some of those warm, fuzzy feelings around. It's all hugs and puppies in your world, isn't it?"

Neela shot Abby a dangerous look and raised one ebony eyebrow. "Go fu…"

"How's it going ladies?" Morris interrupted, sauntering into the lounge as if he owned the place. "Enjoying the graveyard shift?"

"Oh yeah," Neela bit out, barely concealing her contempt for the man, "it's a regular party."

Morris frowned first at Neela and then at her colleague, mouthing at Abby in an exaggerated manner, "what's up with_ her?"_

Abby shook her head imperceptively at Morris, herself wondering what was eating Neela. OK, everybody thought Morris was a total prick, but it wasn't Neela's style to be quite so rude to his face. Morris, meanwhile, demonstrating the social skills of a household brick, chose to pursue the matter. "_What?"_ he pressed, this time out loud, which caused Neela to lurch to her feet and storm out of the room.

"Thanks Morris. You should maybe try out for counselling," murmured Abby drily.

"Really?" the thick-skinned redhead replied. "You think I've got what it takes?"

Abby looked at him from under her fringe. "Sure," she said sweetly. "As a patient."

"I'm really sorry, Dr Barnett," whimpered the small girl sat up in bed in curtain three. "I didn't mean to. I just felt kind of sick real sudden."

Ray gave the girl the benefit of his sunniest smile and winked at her disarmingly. "S'okay, Katie, I look better in green anyway. Matches my eyes." He plucked at the fresh scrubs he'd changed into after the poor kid had brought up whatever she'd had for dinner all over his Sex Pistols T shirt. "Don't you think?"

Sam watched Ray at work as he put the six-year-old girl at ease and wondered to herself what he would be like as a dad. Pretty good, she thought, if he ever grew up enough to stay with a woman for more than those few hours after a gig. Ray's reputation was well known throughout County General, and from what Neela had told her about her roommate's exploits, it was well earned.

Sam shook her blonde head. "_Beats me how Neela puts up with him",_ she thought to herself as she checked Katie's temperature. "_He must make a mean chicken parmiggiano_."

Ray looked at Sam from under his eyelashes and smirked. "Okay here while I grab a coffee?" he wheedled, knowing full well that she was a soft touch for his brand of boyish charm.

Sam folded her arms across her chest and fixed him with a steely look. Then she flashed him a resigned grin and shooed him away. "Just be careful what you're drinking. I think Morris may have put the coffee on last time."

Ray mock-grimaced as he waved his fingers goodbye at Katie and sauntered off in the direction of the lounge. "I'll take my chances," he deadpanned over his shoulder, not noticing the door of the lounge behind him being flung open with some force.

When Neela had made her dramatic exit she had not planned on anyone being on the other side of the door, so she was less than delighted when she crashed into another body. The air was briefly driven from her chest in a surprised "ooph", and the frown which had marred her exotic features now threatened to turn into a full blown scowl. "Watch where your bloody going!" she yelped as she started to lose her balance.

Ray instinctively caught hold of Neela at her elbows and pulled her to him, trying to stop her from falling over. "Whoa, Neela, where's the fire?", he joked, but his grin faded at the thunderous look on her face. "Sorry," he said softly. Ducking his head, his eyes searched her face. "You okay, roomie?"

The words had come out slightly more huskily than he'd expected and he swallowed nervously. Neela looked up at him sharply, wondering if he was messing with her. All she could see in those hazel eyes was genuine concern for her, and for some reason this made her feel uncomfortable. She broke her eyes away from his, suddenly acutely aware of the closeness of their bodies, and a slow flush diffused her cheeks. This gradually deepened as she realised that she was inches away from the triangle of tanned skin exposed by Ray's scrubs, and she lowered her eyes to the floor. The tiny part of her that wasn't feeling the need to disappear into the ground in mortification noticed that he was wearing black and white Converse, and that they appeared to be spattered with the contents of somebody's stomach.

"Your shoes are knackered," she commented absently, only half realising she'd spoken out loud.

Ray placed a finger under her chin and tilted her head back up to meet his. For the first time he noticed the dark shadows under her eyes and his brow furrowed in concern. His instincts warned him that this was not the place, however, so he forced himself to smile. "My fault," he said lightly, "should've got out of the way faster. Six year olds sure can puke fast."

Neela recognised this feeble effort at humour as an attempt to lift her spirits, and rewarded him with a watery smile. "Don't they do those in pavement pizza?" she responded, inclining her head towards the stricken footwear.

Ray shrugged. "Yeah, but that colour is _so _last season," he smirked, linking arms with her and leading her out to the ambulance bay.

* * *

"So, Neela, are you going to tell your favourite roommate what's up?" he asked her carefully as they sat down on one of the benches outside. 

Neela looked down at her lap. "No."

"Do I have to tickle it out of you?" Ray asked, desperately trying to figure out the best approach with this complicated woman. They'd spent so many evenings together in easy friendship on that delapidated couch in their apartment, and yet he still found himself struggling to figure her out.

"Stop it, Ray," Neela retorted, twisting away from him, "you're not my brother, you know."

Ray's expression softened at this. "No," he replied wistfully, "I'm certainly not that."

Neela turned back to face him, tears shining in her dark eyes. "Oh Ray, I'm so confused…" she stopped herself abruptly, shaking her head. Ray waited patiently for her to continue, somehow resisting the urge to fold her into his arms. "_God, if Michael's done anything to hurt her..." _he fumed to himself.

"It's Michael," she managed in a small voice. _"Oh God,"_ thought Neela, "_what am I saying?"_

Ray's mind was racing as Neela composed herself. What could Michael have done to make her so miserable? Unconsciously, he reached out to tuck a stray lock of hair behind her ear. Neela jumped at his touch and a shadow passed behind Ray's eyes.

"Neela, it's okay. You can talk to me, y'know? Not just shooting the breeze on the couch while we watch poker on TV. I mean, really talk. We're best friends, right? That's what we do." Ray's face was filled with an emotion that Neela had never seen in it before. She'd seen him lust after groupies and flirt with patients, but this tenderness made her hope as she had never dared before. She thought fleetingly of Michael's letter and the fond words which had forced her to come to a shocking realisation.

Neela took a deep breath and finally raised her eyes to his. What shone there caused Ray to swallow nervously for the second time that morning. His heart beat painfully against his chest as he watched Neela lean towards him and entwine her fingers with his. Her breath was warm against his neck and he shivered in spite of the warm August night.

A smile of happiness suffused Neela's face with warmth as she announced,

"I don't love _him._"


	2. Chapter 2

A/N Ok guys. This wasn't going to have another chapter but I guess deep down I wanted the closure as much as you! Be warned though; it just gets fluffier!

BTW, did anyone notice a couple of Jane Austen references in chapter1?

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 2 

Ray's mind was racing as quickly as his heart. "_Did she really just say that she doesn't love Michael? And the way she said it was as if_…" He couldn't even bring himself to finish the thought, it was so huge. Months had passed since the moment when he had first begun to realise that his beautiful, uptight, funny roommate was no longer just someone he shared an apartment with, but the most vital part of his life. He had pushed these thoughts to the back of his mind, swallowing away the lump in his heart and accepting that Neela's friendship was enough for him. However, this had become harder and harder to bear, especially as Neela had seemed to rely on his friendship more and more. They had developed an almost symbiotic relationship, knowing instinctively what the other needed and how their minds worked. It had been heaven.

And hell

Suddenly, he realised that Neela was searching his face keenly, clearly wondering how he was going to respond to such a bombshell. He attempted to arrange his thoughts into something even vaguely coherent, and, failing miserably, he fell back on his tried and trusted safety net; the one which had got him through a hell of a lot of difficult situations.

"So," he blurted out, licking his lips nervously, "is Morris aware of how you feel about him?" The moment the words were out of his mouth, Ray was sure he'd really blown it. "_What the hell kind of response was **that**, Barnett?" he chided himself._

Ever since her confession, Neela had been holding her breath in a heady mixture of fear and excitement. Ray's hopelessly misguided attempt at humour forced the air out via her nose in a horrifyingly unladylike snort of laughter. Tears of mirth now replaced those of trepidation that only a moment before had been glistening in her eyes. It appeared to be Ray's turn to wait as Neela rocked with laughter, purging all those sleepless nights as a delicious feeling of relief flooded through her.

At last, Neela's laughter faded, and she became serious once more. Her hand reached out to cup Ray's cheek, making him catch his breath. Keeping his eyes on hers the whole time, he turned his face into her palm, his lips brushing tentatively against her fingers. Both shivered at the sensation. Neela could feel Ray smiling into her hand, and she couldn't resist a little payback.

"Actually, I was talking about Luka," she deadpanned, mischief sparkling in her eyes.

Ray's eyebrows formed into wicked peaks. "Does Abby know about this?" he pouted, all the while snaking his arm around her shoulders to caress the soft hair at the nape of her neck.

Neela fought to suppress a moan and she mirrored his actions, raking his hair with her fingernails. "She's a very understanding woman," she murmured distractedly, her eyes falling almost unconsciously to Ray's lips. She watched as he passed his tongue over his bottom lip, blushing at the way her body reacted to this gesture.

"Oh Neela," Ray murmured huskily, increasing the pressure of his hand at her neck to draw her closer. His eyes were filled with such emotion that Neela wasn't sure she could cope any more. She was in awe of the power she appeared to wield over this man; could he really be the same guy she'd laid in to on so many occasions? All these thoughts were driven out of her head, however, as Ray tilted his head and brought his mouth to hers, tentatively at first, their lips brushing gently together in an agony of anticipation. It was Neela who deepened the kiss, willing Ray to understand how much her feelings had come to change. Suddenly, the passion, which had been held in check for so long, ignited, leaving them both breathless when they surfaced for air.

Both were momentarily lost for words as they absorbed the raw intensity of the feelings each had engendered in the other. They could only gaze at each other stupidly, sat almost in each other's laps on the most uncomfortable bench in the whole of Chicago.

"D'you know what, Barnett?" asked Neela eventually.

Ray bent his head close to hers and murmured, "What is it, Rasgotra?" His heart was hammering against his chest as he looked down at the woman he loved.

Neela looked from under her eyelashes at the man she had fallen in love with, determined that he should get the full meaning of what she was about to say.

"These benches are sodding uncomfortable."


	3. Chapter 3

A/N I can't believe I forgot in chapter 2 to thank the lovely people who gave me my very first reviews. You made a newbie very happy!

Hope you like this chapter. It's a little different to the last two. I may have to update the summary a little.

* * *

Chapter 3

"Abby, have you seen Ray?" Sam asked in exasperation. "The labs are back on his projectile vomiter in curtain three."

Abby shook her head. A slow smile spread across her face as she realised that she hadn't seen Neela around for a while, either.

"Don't worry, Sam, I'll go look for him while you grab yourself a break." _This I have to see for myself._

Sam flashed her a grateful smile. "Thanks, Abby. Tell Ray he owes me big time."

Abby couldn't help grinning impishly. "Don't worry, I think he knows that."

Sam treated her to a puzzled look as she bounced off gratefully in the direction of the lounge. "_Now then," _mused Abby, looking around speculatively. Her eyes stopped at the main entrance. She knew it was the place where almost everyone ended up if they needed some time to think.

"_Or some privacy, for that matter," _she thought in amusement. "_This is going to be good."_

Unlike Ray, Abby had noticed the shadows around Neela's eyes, and for weeks she'd furiously been trying to figure out why her best friend couldn't just tell Ray how she felt and have done with it. Michael was a sweet guy but Abby had known from the start that he and Neela weren't right for each other. Ray was a whole different ball game; she could almost see the sparks flying between the roommates as they faced off at work and at home. Every time she had been invited to their place for dinner she had felt almost as if she were intruding on something private; such was the bond of friendship and affection that had been forged between them.

Only the other day, Neela had mentioned a letter from Michael, her eyes filled with worry and confusion, but any attempts to draw her on the cause of this pain had proved fruitless. Abby now hoped fervently that Ray had enjoyed more success than her.

It was with this thought uppermost that Abby walked out to the ambulance bay. She was brought to a standstill by what she encountered there. Abby blinked away the tears of happiness which were threatening to blind her, and with a huge effort she began to turn back inside, respectful of her friends' privacy.

Abby stopped as she caught Luka's name, and her curiosity got the better of her. Turning back, she involuntarily bit her lip with excitement at the sight of Neela and Ray entwined in each other's arms, their faces only inches apart. "_I really shouldn't be watching this," _Abby thought guiltily, and she quietly stepped back into the shadows, "_but it's been such a long time coming."_

What she heard next made her cover her mouth to stop a giggle. "_So, I'm a very understanding woman, am I Ms Rasgotra? We'll see about that, my girl!"_

Abby's hand moved from her mouth to wipe the tears from her eyes as Neela and Ray finally leaned in and – "_O**kay**_," thought Abby, "_maybe you two should get a room!"_

Abby strained her burning ears to listen as Neela made a very solemn declaration. _"Oh, she must be telling him she lo..."_

Abby was broken from her reverie by a noise which sounded uncannily like a braying donkey.

"I don't know what you're laughing at, Barnett!" Neela was saying in consternation, punching him on the arm. "I mean, would a bit of upholstery here and there really drain hospital funds that much?"

-------------------------------------------------------

Ray thought he would never stop laughing. God, he loved this woman so much! Neela watched him in amusement as the laughter overcame him, her heart filled with love for this crazy guy. _Her _crazy guy. Ray Barnett, the Dispo Doc, the guy who liked the idea of commitment about as much as a needle in the arm, the talented doctor who'd almost thrown it away to _play in a band, _for heaven's sake; could that guy truly be **her** guy?

Could he **really** be hers, even though she wasn't yet free to be his?

Neela's thoughts were broken by the realisation that Ray had stopped laughing. In fact, he was looking in surprise, and a little alarm, in the direction of the main doors. He returned his gaze to Neela, murmuring, "don't look around but we've got company." His eyes searched hers as he added carefully," are you okay with that?"

Neela's face clouded, her eyes filling with panic. Ray swallowed. There it was, back again. That lump in his heart was much harder to swallow this time around, and it weighed heavily in his chest. _"I thought I really had her," _he thought numbly._ "I must have been crazy to think I was good enough for her."_

Neela looked away anxiously, unable to bear the agony she could see in Ray's eyes. This wasn't right. Not before she'd sorted things out with Michael. He deserved so much better than that, but she knew that Ray did too. More than anyone in her life, Ray deserved to be treated right. He had picked up the pieces of her life on so many occasions, and his happiness meant more than anything to her. But she had to do things right by everyone, and if someone had seen them…

Someone like Michael's buddy…

Someone like Pratt…

Neela was frozen with guilt, unable to find the words to soothe away the hurt in those hazel eyes.

The silence lengthened between them and Ray got to his feet, wanting to get away from the cause of the unbearable pain in his gut. Neela's hand fell unresisting from his grasp as he stood. "_Come on Neela," _willed Ray. "_Reach out and stop me. I need you to do this for me Neela, cos I can't go through this again"_

"No!" Neela managed eventually, her voice strangled. She stretched out her hand. "Don't leave!"

But it was too late.

Ray had already gone.


End file.
